ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
