i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
