Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I love you. Go after that dick
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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