I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
