where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
this will be a night to untag.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
