Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
