why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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