My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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