We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
