If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
