plz talk dirty to me
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
