the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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