Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize