I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
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