So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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