Im at strip club and am horny
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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