why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize