i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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