just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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