I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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