well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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