My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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