so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
