I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
