I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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