We won't sleep together?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
