security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize