She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I think I won the penis lottery.
she smelled like a LAN party
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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