Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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