God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
accomplished twins. life is a go
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
