I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
