Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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