I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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