I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
