the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
