I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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