I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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