No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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