whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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