We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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