fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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