Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
