just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
