You can't special order awesome
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I don't deserve a penis
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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