I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
