so that wasnt chicken after all
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
