haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
