that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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