So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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