if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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