so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize