I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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