Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
