Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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