I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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