party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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