White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
