Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
We need to rekindle our bromance
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
