Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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