You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
