How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
