we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
